A picture is worth a thousand words. I am going to use those words to speak the truth.
It wasn’t what we expected.
We have worked for months to prepare for this day, his first day of school. If you were to judge our morning based on these sweet pictures, you would think it was an awesome first day.
But you see, it wasn’t. At all. And although I wanted to share these pictures, I also would have felt like a fraud if I didn’t explain.
My boy was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder in March, though we have been dealing with it since birth.
He is likely the sweetest kid you’ll ever meet. He shows genuine concern for others, he gives the best hugs, he is so very funny, and he’s brilliant. His ‘favourite game” he says is math. He keeps us on our toes because he’s a very busy boy.
He also struggles. He has hard time dealing with things that are new, transitioning from one place or activity to another. He has anxiety. He can lash out at times and appear to be difficult but that’s his anxiety coming through. If you didn’t know him, you wouldn’t know that. And people judge.
He recognizes his struggles.
When we picked him up at school (yes we got THE call) the first thing we did was hug him and ask him if he is okay. He immediately said, “Mommy I didn’t mean to do that, it was an accident.” He knows. And he hurts, too.
There is also a large sensory component to his diagnosis. He has a terrible time with loud noises, or constant noises, or busy noises. He likes things to be calm and quiet and when they aren’t, anxiety insues. Often he wears noise cancelling headphones.
Sometimes things are too bright for him. He wears his sunglasses more than the average child.
For the most part, he can only eat crunchy foods. Textures wreak havoc on his senses.
He doesn’t like how certain things feel. It was only within the last 2 years that he would allow himself to be barefoot in the grass.
Our boy struggles at times and it’s difficult.
I won’t get into all the details but I will say this, it was a hard morning.
For us.
For Teachers.
For classmates.
For him.
After stepping back for a day and collecting our thoughts, plus meeting with the principal and staff of the school, we felt ready for a second attempt.
** Shout out to Teachers and school staff. We see the work you do! **
Together we created a game plan. We decided on a short day. Just a couple of hours. We really wanted him to feel the success of a good day and celebrate it.
Everyone kept a close eye on him. Occasionally we would exchange knowing glances or nods.
My husband and I decided it was ok and we went to the parking lot to wait.
The plan was to meet when recess was done and he would come home.
At 10am the bell rang and the children flooded onto the playground. There he was, running with all the kids. Playing happily.
When recess was finished, the Principal brought him to us. He saw us and beamed, “I did it! I did it!”
The sweetest six words ever squealed.
He was so proud of himself. We were, too.
A lot of credit goes to the Principal, Teachers, and staff for all they did to help him succeed. He has the right people in his corner.
We still have a lot of work to do. But we will get there, at his pace.
We aren’t the only parents that struggle. We know this. So on behalf of us all, a big thank you to anyone who exercises patience and understanding. Us parents need to stick together.
There.
Not quite a thousand words, but we appreciate that you took the time to read each one.
Trish@Work
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